A new two act comedy play: 'ROMP' by Jim Horton

[Jim Horton]

This is a scene from Act I, Scene 1: The play is finished but I am only posting one scene. If you would like to read more, contact me through my email: [e-mail]

First Serial Rights
Copyright 2008
James Horton
403 72nd Avenue, North
Unit # 8
Myrtle Beach, SC 29572
843-259-9124
ROMP

A Comedy in Two Acts
By James Horton

CHARACTERS: In order of appearance.

GLEN MARLOWE - Early thirties, handsome lawyer.

CANDY HARTMAN - Worn mid sixties, younger acting than her age and looks. Rather gaudy, but tastefully over done when she finally dresses for her party.

JEAN-PAUL DUSANT - Frenchman, late thirties, dashingly handsome and extremely masculine, a sex machine with no brains.

CAROL MARLOWE - Glen’s wife, early thirties, smart, very pretty and stylish.

MARTIN CONRAD - Early thirties lawyer and law partner of Glen Marlowe. Somewhat ordinary but, a brilliant mind with little common sense.

DELIVERY MAN - Early twenties, obviously street wise but nothing else, working in his head.

MIKE KENDAL - Early thirties, artist, extremely handsome, very masculine, stylish Bohemian type.

YVETTE LOUSTALOT - Beautiful French girl, mid twenties, stylish, language barriers make her dumber than she already is.

5 MEN - 3 WOMEN - 8 CHARACTERS TOTAL



ACT I - SCENE 1

TIME (Present)

LOCATION (New York City apartment)

SCENES: 1 unit set. Living and dining areas of the Marlowe penthouse apartment. Front entrance door to the apartment is up stage center. A closet is next to the entrance door stage right. An arch opening to the off stage kitchen is stage left by the dinning room. Stage right has two entrances leading into the living room area. One downstage of the other. One is an arch, up stage, leading to an off stage bedroom and bath. The other door, down stage has a closing door leading to another off stage bedroom.

Act I - Scene 1
(Lights up full)

GLEN (Glen is talking on the telephone). Hello, Betty…Yeah, it’s Glen…May I speak to Martin Conrad? Yes, I’ll hold…(pause as he waits). Thanks…Hello…Martin…Fine…Listen, I’ve got a major problem. Could you come over to my place?…Yeah, a big problem…I’m home so come over now…Fine…good-bye. (Hangs up phone). Damn! (Crosses to bar and mixes a cocktail. Sips it then crosses to the stereo. As he reaches to turn it on, there is a knock at the door. He stops). Damn I hope it isn’t Carol! (Crosses to entrance door, opens it to reveal Candy Hartman. Candy has obviously had a very rough night of partying. Her hair is a mess as well as the rest of her).

CANDY Hi Glen…(Rushes past him and crosses to the bar).

GLEN Oh…Hi Candy…Come in! (He follows her, after closing the door).

CANDY God, do I need a drink! Don’t mind if I help myself do you? (Starts pouring a very large cocktail).

GLEN By all means, help yourself.

CANDY You want I should fix you one, honey?

GLEN No, I have one already, I was just sitting here waiting for Martin Conrad.

CANDY Oh, that Martin is such a fine young man. He’s never been married has he?

GLEN No…He has a brilliant mind, but he’s rather flakey and fickle where women are concerned.

CANDY Uh huh…I’ve always thought he needs someone…I mean, you and Carol are his best friends and companions.

GLEN Well, I’m sure the right person will come along eventually.

CANDY (Takes a big gulp of her cocktail). Ah…God did I need that! The party I threw last night wiped out my liquor supply. God damn people drank like fish. (Takes a second big gulp). I got up this morning and there was nothing left anywhere in my apartment.

GLEN Another one of your wild parties?

CANDY No…just a couple dozen or so friends. It broke up about three a.m. Your wife Carol, stopped in. She had a great time. She spent the evening talking to that nice Mike Kendal…(Takes another big gulp)…Then they left…Where were you?

GLEN I worked late on a case…What time did they leave?

CANDY Who knows…I saw them leaving as I was coming out of the bedroom. God, that Jean-Paul Dusant is fantastic in bed. (Takes another big gulp). Frenchmen are the best lovers you know…Of course you couldn’t know. Well, take my word dearie. They know how to use every little thing god gave them to please their partner. (Takes another big gulp). I could hardly walk this morning when I got up. Best thing I’ve had since my third husband, Morris. God rest his soul.

GLEN Uh…Why did Carol leave with Mike?

CANDY I didn’t get a chance to talk to them as they left. Not to worry child. He and Carol were just talking about his liberal beliefs, I’m sure. You know he has a very liberated and different life style. (Takes another big gulp.

GLEN I saw them coming home as I came in this morning.

CANDY What time was that, honey?

GLEN About four-thirty a.m.

CANDY Well, if they were coming in, you know nothing happened. (Finishes off her cocktail). After all they both live in this building. Don’t mind if I have another do you? (Pours another drink without even bothering to wait for a reply from Glen).

GLEN I asked what she was doing with Mike, but she didn’t want to talk about it. She was tired and wanted to sleep. She spends all night, talking to the hunk, then tells me she’s tired and wants to just sleep.

CANDY You’re acting like my fifth husband Gerald, god rest his soul…(Takes a big gulp of her cocktail, smacks her lips and sighs as she wipes them with the back of her hand). Now Gerald was the jealous type like you.

GLEN I’m not jealous!

CANDY He would go into a rage if I even looked at a man. He’d get furious as hell, then spend three days trying to apologize and buying me wonderful presents…(Takes a long full drink of her cocktail)…Kevin, my seventh husband, god rest his soul, was just the opposite. No matter how much I flirted around, he’d just smile. I remember that last night. He was sitting there smiling at me and…Well, finally I went over to ask him to stop smiling. Damn if he wasn’t dead! (Takes a big gulp)…Just sitting there smiling at me. His eyes open…smiling and staring at me. (Takes another big gulp). Gerald didn’t go that easily. He went in the middle of one of his furious rages. He…(Interrupted by Glen).

GLEN I think Carol is having an affair with Mike.

CANDY What? Ha. Ha. Oh dear boy, you know that is totally impossible. He’s…

GLEN I could kill that son-of-a-bitch, Mike Kendal!

CANDY But dear, think what you’re saying. He’s…

GLEN All that nice hair, good physique, flashing teeth and a personality to charm the hell off…

CANDY Not to worry Glen, because he’s…

GLEN Carol is so innocent and easily influenced.

CANDY Glen, I’m telling you, Mike is…

GLEN Candy, I don’t know what I’ll do if they’re screwing around. (Completely ignoring what Candy is saying).
CANDY Gay…

GLEN How can I compete with him? He’s got everything. Good looks, money, personality. I mean everything.

CANDY Glen, would you listen to yourself. How can a ga…

GLEN Candy, I don’t have time to talk now. Here, take this bottle and go home. I’ll talk to you later. (Hands her a bottle and takes her arm with the cocktail in it, then pulls her to the door).

CANDY But Glen, I’m trying to tell you…

GLEN Sorry, I’ll talk to you later. (Pushes her out the door and slams it closed). I hope Martin get here soon. (Crosses to stereo and turns on music). God please don’t let there be anything between Carol and Mike. (Crosses to left arch by dinning area, exits and returns on a count of five. Crosses to chair and sits. There is a knock at the door. Glen gets up and rushes to the door). Martin, I’m coming. (Opens the door to reveal Jean-Paul Dusant). Oh, hello…

JEAN-PAUL Sorry to bother you Monsieur Marlowe. I’m Jean-Paul Dusant and I’m looking for Mademoiselle Candy Hartman. Is she here?

GLEN (With anger). No! I just sent her home. Try her door down the hall. (He slams the door in Jean-Paul’s face). God damn Frenchmen anyway. (He crosses back to the chair and sits sipping his cocktail). I wish people would leave me alone. Come on Martin. Get here. (He crosses to the stereo and changes the music). Damn, I hate that music. (Then crosses and exits into the stage right arch).

CAROL (The front door opens and Carol enters carrying a shopping bag). Glen, are you home? (No answer, she crosses to the stereo and turns it off then exits into the down stage right bedroom).

GLEN (Enters and crosses to the stereo and turns it on again). Damn, I
thought I had this thing on. (Crosses to chair and sits). I hate this music, too! (Crosses to stereo and changes music again then exits into the stage right arch. On a count of five he enters again and goes by the stereo and turns it off. Sighs loudly, then exits by the arch again. There is a knock at the front door. No answer, then the knock is louder the second time. Glen enters from arch. There is a third even louder knock. Glen rushes to the door. Opens to reveal Martin Conrad). Martin! Good you’re finally here. (Pulls Martin in and closes the door).

MARTIN Glen, what’s up?

GLEN Martin, you won’t believe what’s happening!

MARTIN Maybe I should have a cocktail before I hear this.

GLEN Oh, sorry…I’ll fix you one. (They cross to the bar. Glen mixes a drink). Carol…is having…an affair.

MARTIN What? (Laughs). You’ve got to be kidding.

GLEN No!

MARTIN With who? (Laughs again).

GLEN You know the artist that lives in 38-C, Mike Kendal?

MARTIN Carol Marlowe…your wife…and Mike Kendal? Nah. I don’t believe it!

GLEN Believe it! I saw them together this morning. (Hands Martin his cocktail).

MARTIN Thanks. (Takes drink). Are you sure? I can’t imagine Carol doing anything like that.

GLEN She and Mike were coming in this morning as I came home from the office. You know that was four-thirty a.m.

MARTIN Oh yeah, god we did work late on that case last night.

GLEN As I arrived home…Carol and Mike were walking into the building…arm and arm…laughing and talking…I mean…she was holding onto his arm. They looked so happy…Just like we use…

MARTIN At four-thirty in the morning? They were out until four-thirty? Where had they been?

GLEN Well first, they were at Candy’s party, then left. I don’t know where they went…They looked so happy together.

MARTIN That doesn’t sound good.

GLEN I know…and she did not want to talk about it…

MARTIN You ask Carol about it?

GLEN Yes…I asked where she had been. But she said, she was tired and just wanted to sleep.

MARTIN Mike is good looking.

GLEN I know!

MARTIN So, what do you have in mind?

GLEN I don’t know…I just had to tell you, I guess…hoping maybe you could feed me some input on what to do.

MARTIN You need to talk to Carol. Ask what’s going on between her and Mike.

GLEN Think she’ll tell me anything?

MARTIN Carol is honest enough to tell you if you approach her.

GLEN Oh Jesus! See, the problem I’m faced with…if nothing is going on between Carol and Mike, she would be hurt and furious that I suspected her of something. One the other hand…if something is going on…I think it would break my heart to hear her tell me…she loves someone else.

MARTIN Well, you’ve got to face the situation, whether you like it or not. You can’t go around wondering what’s going on.

GLEN I know. I want to know, but I don’t want to know. I guess I want to know she’s not doing anything.

MARTIN Listen, as your law partner and best friend, I’m telling you…you might be better off, if you do a little investigating on your own. If she is in fact, doing anything with Mike…which I doubt she is…and she wants to talk about it…let her bring it up…but…I’m betting she says nothing…if she indeed is laying claims on Mike.

GLEN What does that mean? So what should I do?

MARTIN Hire a private investigator.

GLEN No…I can’t do that. That’s to sneaky.

MARTIN Hell, if she screwing around, don’t you think that’s sneaky?

GLEN Yeah, but we don’t know that she is…We’ve got to be discrete and do something less…I know! What if you do a little snooping for me. Call up this Mike guy and invite him to lunch…pump him for information about who he’s seeing.

MARTIN Something less sneaky huh…that would be a little strange. I mean, I hardly know the guy. I’ve only seen him around and talked to him once at Candy’s party.

GLEN Well, he’s an artist. Say you want to talk to him about a painting.

MARTIN Hell, I’m not familiar with his art work.

GLEN Call Candy! She’s an expert on the subject.

MARTIN Right…let her find out we’re investigating this and the whole building will know in a matter of hours.

GLEN Yeah, you’re right…Say, he’s exhibiting in a Soho Art Galleries. He mentioned it several weeks ago. Let’s see…I think it was the…Pompeii Windsor Gallery…Yeah, that’s it. Now I remember, the Pompeii Windsor Gallery. It not to far from here either.

MARTIN Pompeii Windsor…Yeah, I know where it is. I guess I could stop by there tomorrow and check it out.
GLEN Why not today? If you leave now, you could get there before the gallery closes.

MARTIN Well, I guess…Yeah…prime myself with good art facts so I could call Mike later and arrange for lunch tomorrow if it fits into his schedule. If I end up buying a painting because of this, you can foot half the price.

GLEN Right! Hell, I would pay the whole thing if it settles this situation. It’s a deal.

MARTIN Damn, the situations I get involved in because of you.

GLEN What is a best friend for?

MARTIN Oh fuck you! Well, if I’m to do this dastardly deed, I should leave. (They cross to the door. Glen opens it as Martin steps through). I feel like I’m a character in a Victorian Melodrama. Just call me Dudley!

GLEN Thanks Dudley…You’re a real sweetheart.

MARTIN Yes, I know. I’ll talk to you later. (Exits).

GLEN Good-bye. (Closes the door).

CAROL (Enters in a towel, singing). Oh, you beautiful…

GLEN (Turns, startled to see Carol). Oh…I didn’t know you were home…When did you get back?

CAROL About ten minutes ago. I noticed the stereo playing, then I called your name but got no answer. I didn’t think you were here, so I took a shower.

GLEN I’ve been home since twelve-thirty. (Crosses to bar and mixes a drink). care for a Martini?

CAROL Of course, I’d love one.

GLEN Where have you been?

CAROL I had a few errands to run. Mike Kendal needed information and I knew someone that could help.

GLEN Oh…What kind of information?

CAROL Several tenants in the building have made some rather nasty remarks about Mike’s art work and the life style he leads. He wondered if it would effect his reputation with the art buying public.

GLEN You could have come to me…I am a lawyer.

CAROL I checked with a gallery friend Avery Goldwin. You know Avery!

GLEN Yeah!

CAROL He told me in most cases, an artist’s reputation has no influence on the sale of his work.

GLEN Well that makes no sense. I still don’t understand why you didn’t ask me.

CAROL It’s not trusting your judgment, it’s a matter of Avery knowing what the art buying public might think.

GLEN I think Mike should consider suing for deformation of character! (Hands Carol her Martini).

CAROL You’re being a typical lawyer. Suing is not always the answer.

GLEN Oh forget it…What’s for dinner tonight?

CAROL I don’t know. I haven’t had a chance to really think about it. I could microwave something if you’re hungry and in a hurry.

GLEN No…Let’s go out for dinner.

CAROL Super idea! We’ll need to be home my ten o’clock though.

GLEN Why?

CAROL Candy’s having a few friends over and we’re invited.

GLEN I hope she buys some booze before tonight. She’ already been over here mooching a couple drinks and a bottle.

CAROL Yeah, the party drained her liquor supply last night. She ran out of liquor which ended her party early.

GLEN She still hasn’t paid back the booze she borrowed last month.

CAROL I’m sure it’s just slipped her mind.

GLEN One hundred dollars worth of booze…that isn’t easy to forget…Not for me anyway.

CAROL If we’re going out for dinner, I’ve got to finish getting ready. (Exits into up stage right arch).

GLEN Yeah…I’ve got to get ready also. (Knock at the front door). Just a minute. (Glen crosses to door). I suppose it’s another of Candy’s tricks looking for her. (Opens the door. A young delivery man is holding two boxes of liquor). Yes, may I help you.

DELIVERY MAN Mr. Marlowe?

GLEN Yes.

DELIVERY MAN Here’s the liquor.

GLEN What liquor? I didn’t order any liquor.

DELIVERY MAN There was a note on Mrs. Hartman’s door instructing me that you would accept and pay for this delivery for her. That’s Two Hundred, Seventy Four Dollars and Seventeen Cents.

GLEN What!

DELIVERY MAN That’s Two Hundred, Seventy Four Dollars and Seventeen Cents.

GLEN Forget it! I don’t have that much money here in the house. What the hell is that crazy woman thinking anyway?

DELIVERY MAN If it’s not paid for, then she can’t have the liquor.

GLEN Hey, it’s not my problem.

DELIVERY MAN It’s up to you, bud.

GLEN Just a minute, I’ll have to write a check.

DELIVERY MAN Checks are fine…or Master Card or Visa or American Express or…

GLEN …Yeah, I get the picture. Just set the boxes inside the door while I get the check for you. (Turns, to the foyer table as the man puts the boxes down). God damn bitch. What the hell does she think I am. (Gets check book from drawer in table). That was how much? (Starts writing check).

DELIVERY MAN Two Hundred, Seventy Four Dollars and Seventeen Cents. Nice apartment you have here.

GLEN Thanks.

DELIVERY MAN Yeah, I was thinking of moving into a place like this with a bunch of my buddies. But of course I’d decorate it different from this. Some nice rock star posters would look great on the walls. Is this place finished or unfurnished? We’re going to throw parties every night once we move in. (Glen ignores most of the delivery man’s dialogue as he writes the check). I bet you can get lots of chicks coming up here. How much you pay for this place?

GLEN Too much…(Finishes writing the check). Here, you go.

DELIVERY MAN Thanks Mr. Marlowe! (Looks at the check). Hey, ass-hole you didn’t add a tip.

GLEN (With foot, slams door shut). Right! (Pushes the boxes against the wall. Crosses to bar). I don’t believe that Hartman bitch. Well, she can get the booze when I get my money. (Phone rings, Glen crosses and answers). Hello…Oh, hi Betty…No! Martin left a few minutes ago…He’s checking on something for me. He was going to the Pompeii Windsor Gallery…Yes…Give him a few more minutes then try reaching him there. Yes! The Pompeii Windsor Gallery…Okay, talk to you later…Yeah, bye. (Hangs up phone). I still can’t believe that bitch, Candy Hartman! (Finishes his drink and exits into the upstage right arch).

CANDY (There is a knock at the door). Hello. (Second knock at the door). Hello…(Third knock at the door). Hello, anybody home. (She tries the doorknob and the door opens). Well, it’s not locked. (As she opens the door she see the boxes of liquor). Ah…there it is…that Glen is so sweet. (Pulls the boxes into the hall and closes the door as she exits).

(Lights fade to black).