What music would you like played at YOUR funeral?

[Tony Walker]

As this is Halloween, my thoughts turn, naturally enough, to death. As both I and my wife (the Amazon Queen) have left our bodies for medical experimentation, there'll be none of that all-American ghoulish practice of propping the coffin lid open to take a peek at the corpse. I never quite figured out the reasons behind this - didn't you see enough of the person when they were alive?

No, we'll be carted off to some medical school, where no doubt our heads will be removed so that would-be plastic surgeons can practice their face lifting techniques. Our bodies and limbs will be sliced and diced, and when they've done all they can, any bits that are left over will be cremated and returned (presumably) to our daughter.

It's then that I'd like to have some sort of a memorial service - no god-botherers allowed there - where any surviving friends can get together over a few drinks and (hopefully) remember the good times we all had.

However, for you who are of a more traditional bent, perhaps you'd like a regular-style funeral, with mindless chanting by a priest, parson, rabbi, imam, medicine man, or some other type of shaman. So, what music would you like to have played as your box is carried out to the burying ground, or when the coffin slides behind the curtains at the crematorium?

Me? I'd like to hear Gracie Fields singing an old 1930s song, "Wish me Luck as you Wave me Goodbye".

How about you?

PLEASE, don't just give song or music titles; let us know the reasons behind your choices - you are supposed to be writers, are you not?

[Jayne]

Personally I fancy a loud rendition of Queen's 'Don't Stop Me Now'. One of my favourite driving songs, it brings back fond memories of low flying along Zambia's less than perfect highways, aircon on full and a gaggle of teenage girls in the back - usually on our way to a horse show and always late!

It's cheerful, inspiring and always sounds good sung really loud and slightly out of tune. Best of all, everyone can join in - the louder the better.

Jayne :)

[Doville]

First of all I would like to congratulate you and your wife for your generous and unselfish decision.

I honestly never decided anything in relation with the moment of my death; this might be due to the fact that we, the younger generation, see ourselves as "immortal" most of our days. I might consider your decision worthwhile since I don't desire any tunes whatsoever on a corpse that has already lost its life. I would say, let my family and other loved ones celebrate (or lament) as they wish, my choice of music wouldn't be relevant to the occasion any longer.

Your post reminded me of an acquaintance we have in Spain who, at the age of 12 fell in an old well and by the time they brought her out and revived her, she had already drowned according to her own testimony. The peculiar fact is that she said she died for a second while drowned and saw the exact day and month of her death which was the present date but her rescuers didn't give her enough time to see the year, which obviously wasn't the current one. She and her loved ones had been celebrating the passage of that day with loud Flamenco music since that time (instead of at her real birthday) as another year to her life. Her case had appeared in local news and publications there.

[Rianna]

Ah, my funeral. I remember it as if it were yesterday. So many people, all mourning for someone they barely knew, or never knew at all. All the fake tears and forced words of sorrow. It was quite irritating. And such sadly depressing music - country, soulful, and (as is customary of country music) woefully depressing. Had they played something more upbeat - a bit of Meatloaf (my favorite artist) or Def Leppard or Alice Cooper (both have some devastatingly beautiful songs) I would have been much more at peace. Hard rock (with exceptional lyrics) has always soothed my soul. I must admit to being eternally grateful no rap-crap was found at the scene.

[Tony Walker]

Doville said, "First of all I would like to congratulate you and your wife for your generous and unselfish decision."

Nothing generous or unselfish about it, I'm afraid. It's my Yorkshire upbringing, which makes me object to anyone but me making a profit on anything! We both figure that we'll have had the best out of our bodies (years of glorious sex; thousands of happy hours spent eating, drinking, and inhaling cigarette smoke, so anything that's left that could be useful to the medical industry - they're welcome to find it!

Yorkshire (pronounced 'Yorkshuh' to you colonials, and not 'York-shyer') is the place where we hope to be heading for in the next few months, preferably when the housing market starts to rise. We're aiming to land in a little coastal town called Scarborough, and we spent a day there a few weeks back when we were in England, looking at house prices (not too expensive). We do want a se view, though, so we're prepared to pay a premium for that.

Yorkshire people have a reputation for being a little, shall we say - tight with their money? We are reputed to be able to buy from Jews, and then sell to Scotsmen, and show a profit on both sides. Alternatively, we've been described as Scots, with their streak of generosity removed!

But, back to the theme of funeral music. Jayne wants hard-driving rock music, Rianna wants Meatloaf, Def Leppard, or Alice Cooper, while Doville thinks her choices wouldn't be relevant.

Come on! It will be your last chance to force your (possibly) mourning friends and relatives to listen to your choice of 'music to be sent off by'.

How about something by Spike Jones and his City Slickers? Maybe the Goons, with their 'Ying Tong Song'. Perhaps, for those Vietnam vets, 'the Ride of the Valkyries' by Wagner. I'm leaning towards the Laurel & Hardy theme; the 'Cuckoo Waltz', as my second choice, but hopefully I'll have plenty of time to think about it.

[James Waters AKA. NineSpeed]

If music is to be played at all, though I can't see why, I wont be able to hear it, I'd like High On The Mountain by Vince Gill Played. I was always fond of that song as it brings back memories of my Grandfather and my dad. We're simple country folk around here. We say goodbye to the ones "that got away", then it's back to work. I hope it is the same for me when my time comes. I don't have time for fussing and crying. Bury me or Bar B Que me and make it snappy. Have a crown and coke and a smile, Say "see ya asshole ", and get back to work. God's A busy man and so am I.

[James Waters AKA. NineSpeed]

Ah come on Rianna, how about a little Aerosmith accompanied by Run DMC's Walk This Way, Or Coolio's Gangsters Paradise? No? oh well, It was just a thought.

[Doville]

For what you've said I gather you Yorkshires are quite original; it must be a privilege to possess the best attributes of such renowned cultures!

I think the only place I would be comfortable and happy with would be one with an Ocean view. Lake views are really nice, but nothing compare to the breaking of the waves and the sound and smell of the sea. The closest I could get to it, the more satisfied I would feel. I envy you and wish you the best

On the topic of death…

As it is now, my family is so reluctant to grant me any of my wishes- thinking they know what is good for me (and I don't)- that I wouldn't even be sure of their granting me a last wish either. But maybe since this would be my funeral and maybe I would be surrounded by younger loved ones if this takes place at some time in the future, hopefully they would be my subordinates. In this case a nice "The Path to Decay" or "The Other Side" by Sirenia or maybe "The Shining Path" or "Equilibrium" by Tristania would be appropriate for the occasion. Even "I want To Die" by Mortal Love would also be appropriate.

I would also suggest a plaque on top of my coffin reading:

"In nomine Dei nostri Satanas Luciferi excelsi"... (Just kidding, this would be too much to ask, I think)

[Rianna]

Sorry James, none of those particularly strike me as funeral worthy. Meatloaf's song "Alive" would be a fun one. Or perhaps "Heaven can Wait"? Alica Cooper - now there lies some lyrically ingenious songs. "Feed My Frankenstein"? Ok, perhaps not the best option. Devil's Food - Black Widow?

Don't get me wrong - I love country music and sad music of all genres. I just don't want that sappy stuff played at my funeral. I want my death celebrated. Pour a Jack coke over my corpse or ashes (don't care which I end up as) and pour one for yourself.

[Cary]

For my funeral, I'd want anyone attending to suffer through "Casey Jones" by The Grateful Dead. (A personal favorite song of mine, actually). Why? Almost solely for the line: Driving that train, high on cocaine.

[Jon Lopes]

Well first let me say that it is good to finally have time to come back and start writing again.

As for this discussion, I would want Frank Sinatra's "My Way". Why? Because that is the way I do things. That is not to say that I won't listen to reason from other opinions, just that I lived my life the way I wanted and in the end despite any regrets, or mistakes, I have the satisfaction that I have always stood for what I believe in and I can be proud of that.

"My Way"


And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain.
My friends, I'll say it clear;
I'll state my case of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life that's full -
I've travelled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets? I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course -
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried,
I've had my fill - my share of losing.
But now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way -
Oh no. Oh no, not me.
I did it my way.

For what is a man? What has he got?
If not himself - Then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way.

Yes, it was my way.

[Mari Sloan]

I don't want music at my funeral. My hope is that it would be drowned out anyway by the noise of the agonized sobbing from my friends and relatives. If that doesn't happen, I'd rather the silence be deafening.

My Mother had an unusual request for music at her funeral, which we honored, and I still am not certain I understand her choice.

She had been Snow White for the city of Atlanta when the original Disney movie opened there, when she was still a child of around 15, and this was a big moment for her, so I suppose on that level I understand her choice of having "Someday, My Prince Will Come" played at her funeral. On another level her prince came, and disappointed her tremendously. Her divorce from my Dad was a love/hate relationship that lasted until her death at 73.

What I turned to for comfort when my Father and Mother died, each in turn, was the old gospel music of my childhood, and it didn't even matter that my beliefs and my estimation of the future had changed, it was still very comforting to me. I may not have "a mansion, just over that hilltop," but who knows? I hope that my Mom and my Dad do.

[Tony Walker]

Jon Lopes said, "As for this discussion, I would want Frank Sinatra's "My Way". Hmm, I've lost count of the number of people who've said that's what they want played at their funeral. To me, it shows a certain lack of imagination - but that's just my opinion. A Church of England vicar was recently quoted as saying that if he had to listen to it again, he'd run screaming down the aisle of his church!

Also, as a 'by the way', I'm not sure if it's entirely legal to quote the whole lyrics of the song without attribution.